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Important Conversations You Must Have With Your Child
In order to prepare our kids to successfully recognize grooming and inappropriate adult relationships, we must have these conversations EARLY and OFTEN.
Remember to approach these conversations with a loving, caring and matter-of-fact approach - never a shame-based attitude. Secrecy thrives in shame. If we want a lifetime of honest and open dialogue with our kids, we must start these sensitive, but important, conversations now.
1
Body Autonomy & Consent
Your body belongs to you! No one is allowed to touch it unless you say so, even if it's a family member. No one can force you to hug or kiss them. You have private body parts that no one should touch and you do not touch anyone else's. If that ever happens, tell us (the trusted adults.) Consent is asking permission to do something. When you say no, that means no! Even if you said yes before, but now you want to say no, you can.
2
Secrets vs. Surprises
Adults do not ask kids to keep secrets. If an adult asks you to keep a secret, that might make you feel bad or uncomfortable. Tell a trusted adult. Surprises are different. A good example is a birthday party. It's fun and you are only keeping the surprise for a short time. When an adult wants you to keep a secret, it is probably because it is something that they should not be doing.
3
What is Cyberbullying?
Bullying happens in person; cyberbullying happens online. It could be someone commenting mean things on your social media or DM'ing you on a video game. It could be a group text where one or more of the people are ganging up on another kid. Say something! No one deserves to be picked on or made fun of. If you would not say the things you say online to someone's face, do not say them at all. Cyberbullying has serious consequences, and adults can help.
4
Normalize Talking About Porn
The sad reality is that most kids will eventually stumble acress it at an earlier age than you think. If you haven't addressed this in an age-appropriate way BEFORE it happens, secrecy and shame may lead to addiction and additional exposure. Early viewing of violent images seen in porn rewires childrens's brains in harmful ways. In addition, exposure makes a child much easier for predators to groom. Teach young kids to: NAME IT "Bad Pictures,"
CLOSE IT (computer screen) and TELL AN ADULT.
5
How to Stay Safe Online
Share passwords with your parents. Do not talk to anyone online that you do not know. Never meet up with someone that you met online. Do not share personal information online (where you go to school, last name, routines, where you live, etc.) Never send pics or videos that you would not send to your parents. If someone threatens you online or makes you feel uncomfortable, tell an adult. Do not delete the conversation. Save it an report to the police.
6
Tattling vs. Reporting
Tattling is having an adult handle something that could have been worked out amongst kids. Tattling is also trying to get someone in trouble when the offense was minimal. Reporting is sharing with a trusted adult something that has happened either to you or someone else. Reporting is also talking about that is dangerous, harmful or a problem you can't handle on your own regarding safety. Reassure your kids that reporting is brave and the right thing to do, even if there may be consequences.
7
Basic Self Defense Tactics
Our goal is to be PROactive, rather than REactive. Look people in the eye, walk with your shoulders back, put your phone down when you are in public, be aware of your surroundings. But if someone DOES attack, call 911 BEFORE it happens. BE LOUD. Do not scream for "help," scream "rape." Draw attention! Go for the groin and eyes. Scratch, bite, cause damage. Someone who fights their attacker has a significantly greater chance at escape.
8
How to Identify Grooming
Grooming is the systematic process of a predator earning the trust of their chosen victim. The predator will exploit the vulnerabilities of the victim to their advantage. They are patient, calculated and appear kind and caring. They look like superheroes in some situations. In others, they could be a family friend that the victim knows and trusts. A predator will make the victim feel special and different and like they are more mature than other kids their age. They will desensitize the child to visual or physical acts that are inappropriate and continue the threshold for abuse. Be aware.
9
Who Are Your Safe Adults?
We encourage every child to identify 2-3 safe adults NOW before something happens. Who are safe adults? People in your life, maybe in your family, a teacher, a coach, etc., who loves you and wants what is best for you, who you could speak to if something was happening, who has boundaries and does not do anything inappropriate. Keep a mental list of these adults in your life so you can speak to them when hard things happen in life. We are not meant to figure out everything by ourselves, especially as kids!
If you see something, say something. Call or text the HUMAN TRAFFICKING HOTLINE
Call: 888-373-7888
Text line (233733) "BE FREE"
Contact Us
Want more information? Get involved? Need resources? Fill out the form below or contact us via email: info@stopthemovement.org