INTERNET SAFETY: TOOLS & TIPS
Why do we care so much about internet safety?
Parents want to believe that online harm won't happen to their child. But we're here to tell you that it can! All kids are curious and will explore if we don't put proper boundaries in place. Once a child has seen a disturbing image, they can never "unsee" it again. Likewise, once a predator knows your child's name and where your family lives, your safety has been threatened in a way that you can never take back.
The stakes are too high to delay having important conversations with your child about online safety!
Have these conversations EARLY and OFTEN. Wouldn't you like to be the one to initiate crucial talks with your child, rather than waiting for a predator, or someone who wishes them harm, to reach them first? And wouldn't you like for them to learn about human sexuality under YOUR beliefs and values, rather than learning from violent and inappropriate p*rnography (which statistics show they WILL be exposed to...and much earlier than you think!)
What age should I start talking to my child about internet and personal safety?
As soon as we hand over a phone, purchase the first iPad or use a computer for school, we need to be prepared to talk about digital safety. We recommend talking and reading books about body safety awareness as young as possible. Talk to your kids about:
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Bodily autonomy - They don't have to hug or kiss anyone they don't want to, or allow anyone to touch them. What is the difference between a good touch and a bad touch?
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Proper names for body parts - If uncomfortable using actual names for the youngest of kids, start with terms like your "no-no place, private spot, etc." so they understand it's off-limts.
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Never keep secrets from Mom or Dad.
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Bad pictures vs Good pictures - How does a "bad picture" make you feel?
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Things may not be what they seem online, don't believe everything you see, people can trick you.
Rules for all ages
Younger Kids
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Disable online chats and video watching comments
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Disable or block webcam
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Supervise use - no devices in bedrooms or bathrooms
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Utilize filtering / blocking apps - we recommend Bark
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Set time limits
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Instruct them never to share personal information online
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Older Kids / Teens
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Continue using parental control apps - time limits, filtering / blocking objectionable content, parental permission to download new apps
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Know your child's gaming profile names, login credentials and passwords
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Periodically check browsing history
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Delay social media as long as possible
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No devices in room at night - alarm may be used on phone, but everything else can be disabled
"Tweens" and Teens
As you child gets older, it's time to reframe "stranger danger" with a digital lens.
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Understand the reality that teens WILL seek out online interactions with kids they haven't met in real life.
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We can't completely stop it from happening.
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However, we can mitigate exposure by talking about risks vs rewards, long-term consequences of a poor decision, trust vs healthy skepticism, not over-sharing personal problems.
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Talk about healthy boundaries and grooming​
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Recognize inappropriate behaviors and requests from friends, teachers/coaches, other trusted adults.
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Be aware of excessive compliments, attention, gifts, jealousy, not taking "no" for an answer, requests to meet in person, inappropriate age differences between "friends."
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Always maintain open lines of communication
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Eliminate shame, keep an open mind, actively listen with curiousity, not judgement.
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You're on their side - but as a parent who loves them enough to discipline and protect them, not as their "friend."
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Social Media Savvy
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Keep accounts private, don't share location.
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Don't use full name for profile.
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Remember it is the QUALITY of online interactions vs QUANTITY of clicks and "likes" - our worth as a person should not be measured in clicks, or compared to someone else.
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Recognize that influencers use filters and tricks to make themselves look better.
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Think before posting! An image on the internet or a private screen shot can last forever.
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Before you post, ask yourself if your grandmother (or other respected adult) could see this, what would they think?
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Parents or another trusted, designated adult should be "friends"on their child's account.
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Parents need to model responsible online behavior - no verbal abuse, insults, excessive partying photos, inappropriate "bikini shots."
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Advise your teen that scantily clad photos can be picked up by algorithms which may lead them into the hands of predators, adult dating apps or recruiters for illicit websites.
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Don't hesitate to block and report users and unwanted friend requests.
Sextortion - a rapidly growing crime
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Sextortion - when someone blackmails or threatens to publicly expose an inappropriate image in order to force the victim to stay in a relationship, send more photos or pay money.
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A blackmailer can be anyone - an experienced criminal, friend or intimate partner, or a trusted and respected authority figure.
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Deep fake technology and artificial intelligence makes this crime much easier to commit now.
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Both boys and girls are being targeted, groomed and tricked.
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Don't comply with demands! It rarely stops the sextortion.
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Save everything - block the blackmailer, but screenshot their profile and messages. Report to the online platform. Change your passwords immediately.
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Report to the local police and NCMEC (1-800-843-5678) or report.cybertipline.org
Red flag requests
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DM me - switch to a private chat within a public game.​
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Let's switch to a different private messaging app (like Kik, Reddit, Discord).
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You're so pretty, you could be a model.
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What's bothering you? You can talk to me, I'll be your friend, boyfriend / girlfriend, you can trust me. I love you.
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Are you in the house alone? Are your parents asleep?
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Sends you a photo you didn't request, asks for one in return.
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Uses sexually explicit language that makes you uncomfortable.
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I know a way you can make money fast.
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Let's meet up in person.
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If you don't do what I ask, I'll tell everyone about you / show them your photos.
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I know where you live, and I'll hurt your family if you don't do this.
Conversations To Have With Your Tween/Teen
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Have you or your friends ever been bullied at school or online? What did you do about it?
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Does it feel easier to be mean to someone online versus in-person?
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If you're not comfortable talking to me about something, what other trusted adult could you talk to?
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Which influencers do you follow? How do they make you feel about yourself?
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Do you ever talk to anyone online that isn't from your school? How did you meet each other online?
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Do you ever feel lonely or bored, and turn to scrolling online or gaming to fill yourself up?
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Has anyone ever sent you or your friends inappropriate photos you didn't ask for? Or spoken to you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable?
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Have you ever thought about the long term consequences of a photo you thought was private, getting out in the public view?
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Have you heard stories of other kids from your school or community who suffered consequences of sexting?
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What would you do if an embarrassing photo of you or your friends was publicly posted?
If you see something, say something. Call or text the HUMAN TRAFFICKING HOTLINE
Call: 888-373-7888
Text line (233733) "BE FREE"
Contact Us
Want more information? Get involved? Need resources? Fill out the form below or contact us via email: info@stopthemovement.org